I'm starting with the girl in the mirror

"life is going to push you around, it's going to beat you up, and it's going to scare you. But then, one day, you realize...you're not just a survivor, you're a fighter." -One Tree Hill

NOTHING in this world is going to last forever.The only person that we can rely on is Jesus. I learned that the hard way this week..You think you have stability in something, and then boom, everything changes in seconds. I thought that I was going to be the girl with the same friends all throughout high school..I was going to beat the odds and we were all going to remain the best friends that we had been for 2 years...Boy, was i wrong. My world was turned upside down on monday when two of my best friends decided that they didn't want to sit with me and my other friends at lunch..hello, is this middle school? I'm not gonna sit with you..seriously? It totally showed me that people are going to let you down, they are not always going to be the same, and things change in just a single second. I guess that I just wasn't good enough, "Godly" enough, or just what they were needing in their life at the time, but needless to say, I am left broken, hurt, and without my best friend. I don't feel like I can really talk to them in the hallway and be normal, classes are super awkward, we don't talk at night anymore..and all because they wanted to sit somewhere else and didn't want to hang out with us anymore..I guess people change and change their minds..whatever, I get it. But maybe this is what I should be getting from all this, I need to change, not them. Honestly, i can't tell you when the last time I opened up my Bible on my own and just read it..I haven't prayed in months, the music I listen to is mostly secular, not bad secular, but i was on a pretty good streak to only listening to Christian music. So, i'm gonna stop looking at them, and wondering why they changed their minds, but instead i'm gonna look to my own self. Yeah, it's the hardest thing to admit that you're wrong..I'm going to start with the man(girl) in the mirror. (hehe cheesy Michael Jackson) that seems to be the song that all my friends LOVE! It's time for ME to make the change, the change that could forever change my life, and honeslty, this kind of change will only make my like a million times better. Because i'm not just surviving this life, but I am LIVING this life to the fullest, giving it my all, giving HIM my all! no more old me, goodbye! it's time, time to make a change! :)

Jump Then Fall!

"I can't breath without you, but I have to. People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out." You break up, cry a little, and then the next week your back in the game, time to find a new guy, your old relationship didn't matter...right? WRONG! months and months can pass, and you will still be completely in love, devoted to the person that broke your heart..but why? Why can't we just get over someone and move on with our lives? why is it so hard to wake up in the mornings and do what we have to do when we know something's missing? LOVE: the most powerful word. We say it to describe everything..if we like something a lot, we "love" it. When the newness of a relationship wears off, we take it to the next level, not physical, but emotional, by dropping the L word. The word that all girls die to hear.."I love you" means so much, but these days, it's just common to say that to whomever your in a relationship with. and then ya'll break up. So, you move on, you find someone new, and then what..you love that person too? so that's two relationships, two people you say you love...two people that you probably won't marry, because 95% of the time, you don't marry your high school "love." sucks doesn't it? But maybe that's what it's all about..knowing that you're not in this forever, and going into the relationship knowing that it is going to end eventually. Hey, think about it, there's two options in dating, you get married or break up. the end, no in-between crazy huh? So maybe that's it, it's knowing that no matter the heart breaks, the unreturned calls, the misread signals, you never gave up hope. you were willing to jump into a relationship and then maybe, possibly fall in love..jump then fall right? Love, it's a powerful thing, it's the strongest thing, it's the hardest thing. It's the thing that we all live for."Falling in love is the easiest thing you'll ever do. It's the most exciting thing, it's the most powerful thing. That's why falling out of love hurts like heck. But falling in love, there's nothing better, it's the best it ever gets" -One Tree Hill